How come when I’m in the Chevy and creep off the boulevard to grab a burger at the drive-thru, the guy working the fries completes my order by loading seventeen napkins into my bag? Am I supposed to leave a trail of napkins on the road as I leave so that I can find the restaurant next time I’m hungry? Should I upholster the interior with these napkins? Does this dude think I’m an uncoordinated slob? F-U!! *double birds*
The Jolly Roger. Black flag with skull and crossbones. You know what else is crossed? My arms…both in confusion and frustration trying to make some sense of this design concept. I’ve never seen a skeleton contribute to sailing a ship. He’s not going to sit in on a game of poker with the crew. He won’t improve morale with his incomprehensible moaning that he tries to pass off as banter. And the color scheme? Was black fabric available at discount prices in the age of exploration?