Dear IRS,
Ok, it isn’t bad enough that you have been requesting additional documents for almost a year for the homebuyer credit.
It isn’t enough that when I called and waited on hold for what seemed like an eternity it was only to speak with a 50+ year old man who sounded like he was fresh off the fry station at McDonald’s.
Can it be worse than when I had an accountant call and you basically told him you are understaffed and really have no idea what is going on or where you misplaced my documents, but you can confirm you received them.
Or the time you mailed me a letter saying that you were denying my claim in its entirety and wanted me to sign two documents saying that I agreed with the decision. And then in a follow up phone call said it was just an automated letter because you were behind on your paperwork.
That was frustrating and annoying. I mean what else can an individual do when IRS makes a decision, even a wrong one. It’s not like you can lock the IRS up in prison for failing to pay out a refund (kind of funny that they can lock you up though for failing to file). It’s not like it is worth it to get a lawyer because a lawyer’s fee will quickly eat up whatever potential return you are expecting.
But now I know you are just f—ing with me. WTF is going on over there? Not only did my credit magically appear in my bank account. It was 3 times the amount it should have been! I’m sure you made yet another mistake. I’m sure I will have to pay you back. I’m sure it is my fault somehow and I will owe interest. But seriously IRS, it really isn’t funny to tempt people with thousands of dollars they can’t touch even though it is in their account. Glad you think my bank account is a place where you can stash cash. To quote Big Worm, “Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions,” and my emotions don’t like being played with. He also said, “First of all, don’t be callin’ here like you some straight up G, cause I’ll cut ya balls off and hand ’em to ya, patna. I had to warn you too many times about my money, Smokey. You see, it’s the principal. There’s principalities in the whole thing.” Unfortunately, I think that is what the IRS will be telling me when they want their money back.